overextension

you know, esme,

when I saw your name popping up after I had clicked on “accept” or something, I had heatflashes racing my body. I havent’t felt so bad, so guilty for quite a while.

maybe it had been about time.

bollocks!!!!

bollocks!!!!

this whole new yahoo this is a hell of a trouble!! i dont know how to work it…

have just accepted some kind of a request from you to see “mick and esme are now connected” on my screen …

… do you think yahoo is being ironic…? _)))

mick and esme are now connected

for me, the “don’t drink and…”s have seen an addition: “don’t drink and click!” an early adopter of new tech gimmicks, gadgets and knickknacks, I was absent-mindedly cross-reading over the new yahoo, when I suddendy got informed that from now on I will get updates from esme – and esme from me.

yahoo’s laconic message: “mick and esme are now connected”.

picture this. just picture this! shock is a mild expression for what I felt that very second.

one of these days

esme

one of these days we should do that. just a walk, and some talk, like we’ve done before.

it took me a while to accept that this we had only been alive in our pink bubble in a restaurant over the river, and on a wooden bench with the backrest then yet unbroken, and in a guest house. in a dream we were trying to dream into reality.

Re: walk in beauty

i need that and i am endlessly sorry

to begin with. again. i’m sorry

that night on the 14th of june when i was about to turn 24  i had a dream.

birthday

shadow and light

in the afternoon, life came to a standstill. out of nowhere, her name popped up on the screen. the curse of yahoo, where you see when your contacts are online. also shows your nomorecontacts, unfortunately.

seeing those two words gave my heart a good squeeze. life slowed down, focused on one spot on the mail website. and there it was again, everything, in the blink of an eye.

fate didn’t dare

blue night temptations

The cold won’t yield. There is no sign of spring, no hint it will ever come. The sky changes its color, but it fades from darker grey to lighter, and back. The sky looks like myself, torn inside out.

Yet, there had been sun. Some weeks ago, in India. And color.   

happy new year is here. go away.

so this is how 2009 feels when you’re not spending most of the day inside the smallest room of your apartment trying to keep at least some fluids inside your aging body. finally made it back to the office and, surprise: it was still there.

objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they are

looking back, the plane truth is easy to see

the end of a year, be it calendrical or personal, not only reminds me of death. it has the same feel and taste. and, as death, it cannot be avoided.

the questions for me are: where am I? what have I done to deserve this? and, basically: who am I – and if yes, how many?    

dec 24, 2008

merry christmas, esme.

merry christmas.