08-31, 23:31

stop staring onto the screen. she is not going to write today. good. get some work done, then check for a last time. 11:31 PM August 31, 2008 from web

08-31, 22:58

11 pm. stomach’s rollercoasting. no news. SAY SOMETHING! man, this is getting at me. BUT I will be STRONG. GOTTA BE. 22:58 PM August 31, 2008 from web

08-31, 18:16

but isn’t that exactly what I wanted? 18:16 PM August 31, 2008 from web

08-31, 18:15

going home now. unnerved. 18:15 PM August 31, 2008 from web

08-31, 18:05

still nothing. getting nervous. I won’t do nothing. got to be strong. see what happens. trip to her still not out of options. 06:05 PM August 31, 2008 from web

08-31, 15:47

greetings from the void. no mail, no sms. is it that what I wanted? sick to the stomach. I must not reach out for her first. definitely not. 03:47 PM August 31, 2008 from web

08-31, 10:26

…for the sake of both of us. I mailed you back, offering you paths to escape this emotional trap we’re caught in. please, take one of ‘em. 10:26 AM August 31, 2008 from web

it has to stop

At 1 o’clock in the morning I tell Esme that it had to stop. Things are getting out of hand, start to develop a dynamic I am not able to control any more. Neither can Esme, as far as I can tell from her messages. What we have is “hopeless”, she wrote, has been that [...]

08-31, 10:25

reading this mail tore me apart. it is tough to keep your balance with such a sweet burden of love on your back. but I have to… 10:25 AM August 31, 2008 from web

08-31, 10:23

…you wrote. “a thousand times would i say yes”. don’t, I want to cry out to you. don’t love me. don’t inflict that pain on yourself. 10:23 AM August 31, 2008 from web