Moebius strip: no end, no beginning
This day was my last day in this city. In the evening I would board the plane and leave. Four more hours with the group, lunch, some spare time, then I would be on my way back home.
It had been really clever of me to book the early flight out, not the alternative one the following day. What should I do in this city, I had reasoned some weeks ago. Let’s go in and go out before anyone notices that you are there. Of all the bad ideas I’ve had in my life, this comes very close to being the Number One Bad Idea of a Lifetime. But when I woke up in the morning, I had something else on my mind.
Open or closed? As stupid as this sounds, this was my only concern when I had breakfast in the small breakfast room at the end of the hotel. It was my only concern when I carried my bag to the car which would take me to the university. It was my only concern when I set up my laptop in yesterday’s classroom.
It was my only concern when I noticed Esme entering the room.
I was always good in squinting. I could say hi to her, look her in the eyes, feel her smile, and at the same time check out her feet. Open shoes. Toes wiggling. You made my day, honey. This is a good day to die.
Somehow I survived. Later, when the lecture was over, we were having pre-packed lunch together with some participants in another room of the university.
“So what about some coffee downtown“, I asked her.
“Sure“, she said. And we had our date.
Two hours later I was sitting on the steps of the City Hall when my phone jingled.
14:45 Esme’s SMS
Hey bossman! I will probably be some 10 minutes late. Do not talk to strangers, act dumb!
Actually, I was in no position to talk to anyone, dead rat in throat, heart pumping hard, wet hands.
14:47 Mick’s SMS
No prob with dumb, Mylady. Will just be myself. M.
I texted back, glad to have some more time to catch my breath. I finally saw her walking across the square up towards me. When she had reached the foot of the stairs, I descended as gracefully as possible. First thing she did was to snatch my sunglasses from my nose, saying “It’s about to rain, Mick. These ain’t no rainglasses, right?” What can I say – she was so right.
We finally found a courtyard café with sofas outside, parasols, a big outdoor stage and a plastic cow climbing up the opposite wall. We had coffee, Esme some cigs, and we kept talking the time away. About the past, about the future, about traveling light or heavy, about finding a clean, well-lighted place of one’s own, about love and marriage and children. Basically we were talking about life: Life as it is, life how it should be.
Then it was time to go. A drizzle had set in, so we hurried back towards my hotel where I had left my travel bag. We were walking fast and talking along, so when we finally stopped just south of City Hall where the road uphill towards the city gate and my hotel left the main square, we were both out of breath.
“Guess you’ll find your way home from here“, she said.
“Guess so“, I said.
And there we were standing in the drizzle. Looking at each other, saying nothing for the first time since we had met at almost the same place some hours ago, and waiting for… I don’t know what for.
So finally I said something like “Was great meeting you“, and she said something like, “Yeah, was great meeting you too“, and “Have a safe trip home” or something like this, and she stretched out her arm to shake hands.
killer application
I didn’t shake hands with her. “What the heck”, I thought. “I am not trying to dream about this woman for two nights and then shake hands with her.” That’s why I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek, right cheek, left cheek.
I felt how she grew a little stiff when I did that, but of course it was too late to stop it then. Maybe that’s not how you say good-bye in this part of the world to a stranger whom you did meet only three days before, I thought. Then again, we probably won’t ever see each other again, so what.
We said good-bye again, I turned around and quickly walked uphill. I did not look back. I just walked towards the city gate, wondering whether I had committed a fauxpas, and congratulating myself to the fact that Esme did not have a brother who could come after me and break my knees out of some mysterious vendetta-like tradition.
leaving cheyenne on an Embraer 170
On the plane back to my home country, I wrote the text message I had promised her earlier in the courtyard café. I wanted to tell her some things that came into my mind when thinking about her. It was play, you know. I planned to tease her a little because she had been snappy betimes, of course also in a teasing manner – and I really enjoy this, especially with women where this trait is very rare and therefore the more desirable.
So I wrote the sms, I’ve talked about that. Composed it on a white tissue. Scribbled, crossed out, rephrased. Fortunately, the flight took a while. Finally, it was done. I typed it into my phone, then sent it off.
23:02 Mick’s SMS
Hey, Mylady. Me back in B. Here the list: (apart from the obvious) Pro. Crisp. Cinderella. OED. Kitten-toed. Provocative. Pecan-pie. Decorative. Burning sage. Crystal carbon. Oban (no ice. never). Screwball. Deep. So 80s. Maelstrom. Open. Cutting edge. Porcupine. Signed. Daring. Poker. Double-caff-frappuccino-to-go. Puzzleing. Cajun. Scythe. The Crying of Lot 49. Real. – Sorry, stated the obvious after all. Say hi 2 Les, Mr. Jack PotguyMick
Then I got ready to go to bed. I was just brushing my teeth, when my phone went off.
23:17 Esme’s SMS
I knew you would text me tonight. Thank you kindly for that.And for the listthe kids are lucky having a chance to learn from the best
It did not take her long for this answer. That’s what surprised me. How would she know I would? How could she know, after this awkward good-bye this afternoon? But answer she did.
This is not were it started, but this is where it began. I had no idea what “it” would be. And where it would lead me.
day 0 – I had so no idea
day 1 – exposure
day 2 – drop-dead competent
day 3 – enter the moebius strip
1 Comment
November 25, 2008 at 6:31 pm
[...] step by the café with the cow on the wall with wings where we had spent some hours together during my final day in V. when we had met, talking and talking and secretly falling in love with each [...]