I feel like watching a movie I don’t like much but am not allowed to leave. Some sinister force makes me sit through that flick with eyes wide open and an unbelieving expression on my face.
I'm not the type to sit and wait. Even if it hurts. It mostly hurts more not to.
Beer and popcorn keep me alive for the time being.
Nothing from Esme. I’m not insisting myself. If she needs time, she’ll have time. I still have hope. Hope is what dies last. Me, I’m dead already. So hope’s next.
But I’m not the type for the waiting game. Gives me the creeps. I like it in or out. Don’t like to rush it, either. I dunno. I’m climbing up and down the walls, trying to behave as normal as possible. This gets harder day by day. Fortunately I’m still working long, so there is not much time for confrontation.
But there is confrontation.
