doesn’t matter where she is tonight

maybe it was because of the biting cold on the city rail platform in the outskirts of the southern secret capital. maybe it was because of the long dark hair of a woman shivering not far away from me in the yellowish light of an internal illuminated street light commercial structure.     

do not go gently into that good night

sitting at the bus stop. wonder what brought me here. way beyond midnight. cold wind prying underneath my coat, ’s too thin for temperature only slightly above zero. cars pass.
four months ago I was hunting for a face in the crowd. this night I was ready for my coup de grâce.    

everything that rises must converge

I didn’t get it the first time. Probably no one would have. Second time I had a hunch. Third time gave me reason to read it fourth time. Then I got it. Hit me like a sledge hammer. Can’t be, I thought. Can’t be.
But chances are, it not only could, but it is. And there [...]

walk in beauty

dear,
more than ten years ago I was living with the navajo tribe in arizona, usa.
I learned from them about life, about nature, about myself.
there is one prayer I like to remember:

Re: looking back from a distance

now i know how it feels to be everything and nothing to someone

i couldnt let you leave me once again
last time you did i have nearly died
this story could never have a beautiful final for it has started with a final     

beads of love

“Almost Lover” again. On both flights. I enter the plane, there is A Fine Frenzy in the air. On the flight back from far Southwest, I see my city full of golden beads. I see you in our hotel room.
I feel a knife in my guts. I feel you. I see you.    

almost lover, again

I enter the plane yesterday, what’s on? “Almost Lover“. Don’t they ever learn? Is this a conspiration? Someone eager to rid me of my sanity? Got to book the more expensive airline next time.
But wait! I’ll be flying again today. Same airline again. Please, don’t. Don’t do this to me.

burn after loving

there is no sound at all. I am an actor in a silent movie which hasn’t even got the piano. my stage might not be black and white, but it feels like it anyway.
I move in floating motions, soundless, effortless, sensationless. emotionless.

looking back from a distance

looking back from a distance, the trip was a desaster. V. is your city, because you live there. it is my city because you live there. and it is our city because we had what we had, if only for 26 hours and two weeks before and some afterwards.
what brought me down most was [...]

epilogue

having a late dinner yesterday I kept asking myself: “was it a stupid idea to come?” you’ve made it pretty clear before that you didn’t want to see me, or talk to me, or even text me.
I came nevertheless, and I still think it was the right thing to do.