objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they are

the end of a year, be it calendrical or personal, not only reminds me of death. it has the same feel and taste. and, as death, it cannot be avoided.
the questions for me are: where am I? what have I done to deserve this? and, basically: who am I – and if yes, how [...]

dec 24, 2008

merry christmas, esme.
merry christmas.

two dark-haired girls

what is man? I’m surely not the first to ponder this question, and yet I won’t be the last. and how would I know, above all? what I know is: man is formed by his past, and sometimes the past doesn’t stay where it belongs, but pops up in the present.
this is what happened with [...]

to venture into the unknown

of course I reply to fran’s mail. ages ago, when there had been an us of some sort, we had passed gigabytes of communication data back and forth. mails, messenger, sms: after one-on-one in the “hole in the wall” and a fax which kindled our relationship we had gone totally digital.
regardless, it takes me hours [...]

history repeating

takes me a while to realize who sent me this mail. I had expected much, but this, man, takes me by surprise. I read the sender again. wow, I think. what the, I think. that’s about all I can think of this very moment.
then, finally, after taking a deep breath, I click the mail [...]

last christmas

I feel the base hammering my stomach. I am standing next to a steel pillar in a hall of the former factory now party location. My eyes get lost in the crowd on the dance floor. Heads bopping, hair flying, naked arms raised and waving in a rhythm I can’t relate to.
The stale air is [...]

persuasion

nothing is unique. no feeling, no experience. no nothing. doesn’t matter how personally you feel. everything has been around for a while somewhere. that’s true also for long-distance relationships. is this thought soothing, or frustrating, or what?