epilogue

having a late dinner yesterday I kept asking myself: “was it a stupid idea to come?” you’ve made it pretty clear before that you didn’t want to see me, or talk to me, or even text me.
I came nevertheless, and I still think it was the right thing to do.

the final supper

I take a shower to warm up after my daylong stroll in the rain. Then I dress again. I am hungry. I don’t think food will kill this hunger, but I go out again nevertheless.
It’s going to be a long night.

V.

esme, I’d like to share a final song with you. it’s by a friend of mine, sophie. I met her some years ago in a bar and we started talking. she later came out with this song.      

my kryptonite allergy (10-11, 13:34)

My cold seems to prove again that I’m no superhero after all. Sorry to disappoint you. Or that I have a til now yet undetected Kryptonite allergy. Good to hear you still like coffee, though.

it is only one month

Life without Esme is starting to become reality. The throbbing pain, the checking of e-mail and SMS just to find nothing, the memories becoming threadbare – all these signs of a love lost are closing in on me. I try to keep them at bay by re-reading our story, by re-arranging reality, by re-inventing history.
But [...]

red

I know
I saw it coming, at least for my part
saw the dead-end sign from the very beginning
slowed down, shifted into neutral, to avoid the crash
and it worked. worked perfectly, didn’t it?
sure, I was almost blowing every time our eyes met
I could handle it
event though I was longing so much for at least a [...]

as if we didn’t do no thing not (08-29, 23:45)

<!–[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 21 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]–><!–[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]–> <!–[endif]–>Never surrender, no regrets. True, we didnt do many things. Didnt touch. Didnt kiss. Didnt do whatever. Did I wanna do that?