after the race is before the flight

I didn’t believe it would change a thing. But I did it anyway. I had Esme’s number registered for a marathon result service, and so she got a message from me. But I got a reaction after all.

it is only one month

Life without Esme is starting to become reality. The throbbing pain, the checking of e-mail and SMS just to find nothing, the memories becoming threadbare – all these signs of a love lost are closing in on me. I try to keep them at bay by re-reading our story, by re-arranging reality, by re-inventing history.
But [...]

in miracles I believe (09-07, 14:53)

Never.Never.Never.I knew you were a family man.From the start i did.Perhaps i thought my faith in miracle will provide one.I was wrong.Just because you’re loosing doesnt mean you’re lost I am not

the day after leaving her

“I love you”, I texted her at night. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU, that’s what I wanted to shout out loud. I was in despair. I was in disrepair. I was destroyed. I was in love.    

morning – the airport II

She is gone. Disappeared in the airport crowd. I still taste her lips on mine while I tie my shoes after security. It was a rushed good-bye. It was no good-bye at all. I feel empty. I feel like crying.
I can feel the tension. It’s all over the place. It surrounds us as we walk [...]

emotion no more (08-31, 00:08)

Dont. Dont get lost, not in me. Got to stop this, Know that I have to. No matter what… Thinking of you makes me lose all rational self-control Have to lock up that feeling stuff. You have to help me with that, ok? I promise: emotion no more.

or no human being at all (08-30, 23:57)

just wonder how long it may last before i will get lost in you completely.Mick, i want you.Either you or no human beings at all.Why are you doing this?