epilogue

having a late dinner yesterday I kept asking myself: “was it a stupid idea to come?” you’ve made it pretty clear before that you didn’t want to see me, or talk to me, or even text me.
I came nevertheless, and I still think it was the right thing to do.

the final supper

I take a shower to warm up after my daylong stroll in the rain. Then I dress again. I am hungry. I don’t think food will kill this hunger, but I go out again nevertheless.
It’s going to be a long night.

the river reaches out for the restaurant

It’s Esme weather. She always liked rain. During summer, the hot days with blue sky and sun and such were torturing her. Now, the sky is grey, cloudy, air filled with the premonition of rain at first, then with its realization. And she is not there with me to enjoy it.

only water, no sun (11-04, 18:56)

Summer really is over for good. Walking the streets of V. today, it first was only cold. Then came the rain.  

tell me (09-19, 20:13)

Its hard to believe that we met only one month ago to-date. Hard to believe what has happened since then. Just tell me how youre doing. You o.k.?

rain, finally

tonight, a bat in my bedroom woke me up, hunted down by the cats. I caught it with a plastic cup and set it free.
later, there was your sms.
what you said did not kill me. I’m dead already, have been since I left you. you gave me the kiss of life. you gave me [...]

RE: 14

i dont care anymore
nothing in this world is comparable to you
the rain is for everyone
your touch was just for me
since you are gone i look ugly
and this town looks ugly also
we so miss you
09-05, 21:37

14

14 degrees, rain, in V.
that’s what my browser tells me
enjoy it
it is me trying to embrace you
09-05, 18:51

11 years ago

there is still some wine left in the bottle:
I had two mojitos tonight on a brown leather couch with a woman I once was in love with
11 years ago
I tried to find some remnants of my former love in her eyes
I did not
it was not because her eyes were blue, not hazel
it was because she [...]

RE: spare key

it has been a hot day
people and images around were melting
now its raining
and i feel so blessed that this rain is wild and angry and cold and loud